What to say on Tinder when they don’t respond

Tinder can be a savage place, even for the most experienced members of the dating community.

Getting a new Tinder match is just one small piece of the puzzle. The next play is how you spark up a conversation with the other person.

And, it doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes, Tinder matches don’t respond to the first message that you send them.

The truth is that if you’re not getting a response on Tinder, it can usually be narrowed down to one of the following reasons.

  • Your original message sucked
  • Your Tinder Bio sucks
  • Your profile photo sucks
  • They’re playing hard to get
  • It’s a bot

Working out which one of these it is can be a crucial part to get it right next time.

Let’s run through them one by one to determine which of them you fall under, and what you can do in your follow up message to make sure you get a response.

Your original message sucked

The most likely scenario here is simply that the original message that you sent sucked.

It hurts to hear, but it’s the most common reason why your first message doesn’t get a response on dating apps like Tinder.

When this happens, it’s worth analysing your initial message to see what was wrong with it.

Too short? Just “Hey” isn’t enough to get a response from most Tinder users, as it shows a lack of effort on your part.

Full of emojis and GIFs? Though they’re great, there’s such a thing as too much.

Copying and pasting across different users? You’re unlikely to get a response from everyone doing this, as it shows minimal effort on your part.

Solution: Take a few minutes, look through their profile and images, and send a second message customised to suit them – make sure to mention something in their Tinder profile.

This shows that you’ve taken the effort to actually look through their profile, which is more than most guys (and most girls) would do. This is the best way to get a response on Tinder.

Fix your Tinder Bio

Don’t forget that you have an entire 500 characters to create your masterpiece of a Tinder bio.

So, it’s worth putting in some extra time if you want to ensure that you’re going to get a response, as they’ll likely check your profile first before responding.

Solution: Fix your Tinder Bio, then send a simple funny GIF that will make them laugh enough to give your bio a second look.

Your profile photos suck

Not everyone is naturally photogenic, and even though you initially match with someone, this doesn’t mean that they’re definitely interested.

Many users of Tinder will continually keep swiping right no matter what. This can easily leave them with a pile of matches to sort through, and if your profile photos don’t stand out, you won’t get a response.

You need at least 3 photos on your Tinder account, and preferable have more than this. A face pic, a full body pic and a social pic are the three main criteria to try and hit.

Solution: Add better pics, then message something simple like “have a great week!”. They’ll notice your new photos, and if you’ve upped your game this time they’ll respond to your message.

They’re playing hard to get

Online dating is a cat and mouse game, and often, there’s a lot more cat than there are mice.

Women typically have a much , so it’s no surprise sometimes when a girl ignores you on Tinder. However, she could just be playing hard to get.

If this is the case, you can usually tell by whether they’re leaving you on read or not.

However, it can be really difficult to tell whether they’re playing hard to get or genuinely not interested in you.

Solution: Cut to the chase with an ultimatum, say you like them and ask them out directly. If she’s playing hard to get, she’ll say yes. If she’s genuinely not interested, she won’t respond.

The User Is A Bot

Typically, dating apps feature bots. Tinder is nowhere near as bad as some other dating apps when it comes to bots, but you will still come across them on occasion.

You can usually tell if someone is a bot from their lack of proper profile, and often their pictures don’t quite add up either. Looking through them, they may not appear to match, or they only have one photo.

If you think the user may be a bot, there’s no point of you carrying on messaging them trying to get them to respond to you on the dating app.

Solution: Stop messaging them, it’s a bot.. unless you’re into that kind of stuff, I guess.

Move on

Though you may not want to hear it, the best solution could be to simply move on and message someone else.

If you’ve already sent 2+ messages with no response, you’re unlikely to get anywhere. The more messages you send with no response, the hard it’s going to become.

Tinder is a hectic app, and it’s not unlikely that attractive users on the platform get hundreds of likes and matches on a weekly if not daily basis.

When you add in super likes and changing location with Tinder Passport, it can work out as even more than this.

So in some cases, you may be better off just leaving it as it is. And hey – in time, they may respond to your original message.

Solution: Take it on the chin, head up and move onto the next one.


It happens to everyone at some point in their Tinder journey. You match with someone, send them a message and get no response.

And it’s really easy to keep messaging them to try and keep the conversation going, but you can come across looking like a creep when doing this.

So, the best thing for you to do is either, or finally just move on to the next one. There’s plenty of fish in the sea!

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Edward brings years of experience in a variety of different fields including online marketing & No-code app development, and he's been investing in stocks and cryptocurrency since 2016. Outside of work you'll usually find him watching movies at the local cinema or playing games in the Apple Arcade.

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