Okcupid conversation disappeared? Here’s why

OkCupid is one of the best online dating apps that you can download when looking for a new partner. It offers a pretty solid dating experience, and has a strong core fanbase of long term users on the platform.

But, some users find that they have their OkCupid message disappearing when trying to use the platform. If you find that this is the case, here’s what you should do.

Why do OkCupid messages disappear?

OkCupid works in a very similar way to other dating apps. When people match up with a user, the relationship begins and you can start messaging each other back and forth.

However, some situations can cause your OkCupid messages to disappear. There are four main reasons why your OkCupid message may have disappeared.

The other user has deleted their account

Ok Cupid messages often disappear because the user has deleted their account. When the other user’s account gets deleted, their message conversations page will automatically deleted with it.

This will also include your messages to them too, which can cause either just the other users messages to disappear, or sometimes even the entire chat to go missing instead.

So, the main cause of the disappearing messages function is that the other user has deleted their profile. They could also have just deactivated their profile temporarily too, so there’s a chance that those messages will eventually come back.

You’ve been unmatched

Another one of the reasons why you may have a message disappear from within your chat is that the other user has unmatched you.

Like with most dating services, the platform works by matching you with the most compatible user possible. If this doesn’t work out as planned, then you’re always welcome to unmatch yourself from the other OkCupid member.

When the other user unmatches you, this may make the conversation disappear from your account.

They’ve blocked you

Though it’s hopefully not the case, there’s also a small chance that you can no longer see disappeared messages because the person you was speaking to has blocked you.

When blocked, you’ll no longer be able to get in contact with the other OkCupid member – this includes sending them a direct message.

Not only thing, but the messages that you’ve sent to each other may disappear too. So, before you ever hit the block button, remember that you might lose some of your data.

Their account is in a moderation hold

The final reason that you may not be able to see messages between your and someone else is that their account is in a moderation hold.

When users sign up to the platform, their account will eventually be verified by a member of the OkCupid team. This may take a while, so they let users send messages before this has been completely.

This is necessary, as it helps to prevent spammers like the Plenty of Fish Bots. But when an account is in a moderation hold, those messages will be suspended – this can cause them to disappear.

This is unlikely, but it’s still a possibility to be aware of within your OkCupid account. It could also be that your account is new, and still working its way through the moderation process.

Give it a few days and if this is the case of your message disappearing, then they’ll come back once the account has been verified.


OkCupid uses messaging as a way for users to communicate with each other, as with most dating sites. Sometimes, your messages between you and another OkCupid member will disappear.

In most cases, this is because the other person has either deleted their profile, blocked you or maybe just unmatched you in the platform. Don’t take things too personally, as it’s pretty normal for people to unmatch each other – remember that there are Plenty of Fish in the sea!

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Edward brings years of experience in a variety of different fields including online marketing & No-code app development, and he's been investing in stocks and cryptocurrency since 2016. Outside of work you'll usually find him watching movies at the local cinema or playing games in the Apple Arcade.

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