How to start a conversation on Tinder

Tinder can be one of the quickest ways to meet new people, though not everyone finds it easy to use.

There’s an art to starting conversations on Tinder, and the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Finding the best Tinder icebreaker is straightforward once you know how – here’s exactly how to start a conversation on Tinder without it being awkward.

1. Talk about them (hobbies, notable things from bio)

Boring? Maybe. But pretty much everyone loves talking about themselves, even if they don’t realise it.

Showing interest in their hobbies is a sure way to indicate that you’re interested in them for more than just one night.

Most people are passionate about their hobbies, and anything they list on their bio or have in their profile pics is likely to be something worth mentioning.

2. Don’t be serious

A cardinal sin that many new Tinder users make when sending a message is asking questions that are way too serious.

It’s Tinder, not The Chase.

Don’t talk about serious stuff immediately, as this can be a definite turn off – no-one wants to talk serious with a complete strangers from the internet.

Make jokes, keep it light, and avoid asking bringing up topics that are too serious.

3. Keep your Tinder opening message short

Most people are a little obsessed with creating the perfect message, and in the long term, this can actually be to their own downfall.

If you’re really not sure what to say, there’s nothing wrong with just saying a few words to put the ball in their court.

If they’ve matched you in the first place, they’ve already shown interest and intent. So, keeping it short and sweet isn’t a bad idea.

4. Play it safe with a compliment

Classy compliments are always a win, and if you do it right, there’s really no way you can play it wrong.

Look through their profile pictures and bio, then single out one thing that you particularly like about them.

Most people will stick with the eyes or smile, which are always safe bets. You can also compliment something from their bio.

Just try to avoid being too shallow – “nice rack” doesn’t translate well over the internet (or that well in real life).

5. Avoid cookie cutter messages

Your message strategy should largely revolve around sending custom messages to each net person that you speak to.

It’s easy to tell if the first Tinder message you’ve sent has been copy and pasted to 50 other Tinder users.

So try to make the first message you send to them more unique to them and not something that can be easily copied.

6. Use a cheesy pickup line

In complete contradiction with the last tip, the only exception may be if you have a killer pick up line that would make a great Tinder opener.

Though they’re not for everyone, they can be a great way to get the conversation flowing if you have nothing else to say.

And hey – everyone wants to find a partner with a good sense of humour, so if they can’t laugh at a cheesy line, they might not be worth your time anyway.

7. Do not be a creep

Stalker vibes are the last thing you want to give someone, and it’s easy to come across as a creep on Tinder.

Don’t mention that you’ve seen them on another dating app, or that you’ve seen them in real life before.

Make your first Tinder message sweet and cute, and try not to give off any weird vibes.

8. Just one GIF or emoji

GIFs are one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century. Where would we be without GIFs?

However, too many GIFs are like too many cooks – they can easily spoil your first messages, on the platform.

If you spam them with GIFs and emojis, there’s a good chance that you’re going to come off as annoying.

Stick with small talk or the odd funny GIF, but make sure that you don’t overdo it.

9. Be Honest

The best advice you can follow if you’re not sure how to start a conversation on Tinder is to keep things honest.

People can spot a fake from a mile away, and if you start the relationship between you on bad pretences, it might come back to bite you later down the line.

So be cheeky, flirt a little, but always try and keep things as honest as you can.

If you want a long term relationship, say that. And if you’re only looking for a quick fling, be honest about that too.

10. Be you

Cliche? Sure. Cringey? Definitely. But it’s true. What’s the point in starting a conversation as something that isn’t natural?

Many of the best Tinder openers come naturally. You don’t need a relationship coach to be yourself, and if you can just get your way through to a first date, you’ll then know if you’re a good fit.

Being yourself may be the best advice you’ll get. And if they don’t reply – well, it just wasn’t meant to be.


Tinder is an easy way to get dates, but you need to use it the right way. What could be a random online chat with a stranger could lead to a long term relationship and even marriage, so try not to make it too cringey.

When you match with someone on Tinder, a lot of the hard work has already been done. You just need to send the right Tinder message, cos if you don’t, you’ve lost them forever as you can’t rematch on Tinder.

No pressure.

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Edward brings years of experience in a variety of different fields including online marketing & No-code app development, and he's been investing in stocks and cryptocurrency since 2016. Outside of work you'll usually find him watching movies at the local cinema or playing games in the Apple Arcade.

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